Boys Night Out

Roman and John sit in the Cheatin' Heart tossing back a few.

"To Bo!" John raises his beer

They clink and drink.

"To Bo's pancreas" Roman toasts

Another drink

"To Chelsea!...And her pancreas!" John laughs

They both drink and laugh heartily.

"Oh man, I really needed this." John says "Just a night out away from Blondie and her 'get in touch with your feelings'. I swear that woman is the most annoying.."

"Hey hey," Roman interrupts "That's my ex wife you're talking about"

"And??" John asks

"And don't forget whiney, pushy, and won't shut the hell up!" Roman laughs

Another round of good ol boy guffaws ensues.

"Man I gotta tell ya" John says "This dying and coming back all changed with a new personality is pretty sweet. I get to be all kinds of sarcastic and snide and no one hassles me about it."

"Yeah, it's a pretty good deal" Roman agrees "I know I liked it every time I did it."

"So which time was your favorite?" John asks "Because I gotta tell ya, this one ranks right up there with the time I came back as you."

"Hmm," Roman thinks about it "Well the time I came back as that Kositchek guy was pretty cool, but this time has it's moments."

John looks at his watch "What time was Steve supposed to get here?"

"As soon as he is done taking Hope home" Roman answers "You know, Bo asking him to take care of her and all."

"So..." John says with his little sideways grin "You think he's taking CARE of her?"

"Hope?" Roman says "No way, he's all about Kay"

"Tell the truth," John says "You ever think about...you know 'having Hope'?

"OH GOD NO!" Roman blanches "I'm not into the bony, drag queen look! I like my women a little more padded, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, me too." John says "Like Anna. Man I tell ya, Tony is one lucky bastard. And he doesn't even know it."

"Yeah there are days I wish I hadn't messed that up" Roman sighs "But there are only so many personalities you can take before things get really messed up."

"I'm with you there!" John agrees "Blondie is hot but man oh man she just flips moods so fast, there are times I think I should just open the door and toss in a Hershey bar and wait a few minutes before I come in."

Man laughs and fist shakes all around.

"Hey, what's this I hear about Belle and Shawn wanting to sail off into the sunset?" Roman asks

"Oh Lord, don't get me started" John groans "I don't know what those two idiots are thinking. Or what they are thinking with! Shawn is a nice kid, but he is as dumb as a box of rocks."

"Dumb as a box of rocks, you must be talking about Shawn!" Phillip joins the party with a fresh pitcher of beer

"Hey Lt. Dan!" Roman jokes "Yeah we were talking about Forest, Forest Brady"

"Watch it now," Phillip says "Don't be insulting my best bud...that's my job!"

Another round of fist shakes, man laughs, and shoulder punches.

"So men, what are we drinking to?" Phillip raises his glass

"To Sir Mix A Lot! For saying what we all wish we could!" John says

The three drink and launch into a chorus of Baby Got Back

"So how goes it with Chloe?" Roman asks Phillip

"You mean the Diva Star?" Phillip says "I never noticed how much she looks like one of those damn dolls, big head and all."

John does a beer spit take on that one "HEY MAN! Don't say stuff like that when I'm drinking! You're making me waste beer!!"

"Oh dude I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you abuse alcohol!" Phillip laughs

"To BEER!" All three grab their mugs and chug race.

"How do you start a pirate joke?" A voice behind them asks

"A PIRATE WALKS IN TO A BARRRRRRRRR" Everyone greets Steve with back slaps and fist shakes

"How's the newest member of the baby-daddy club doing?" Roman asks

"Hey, I'm doing fine" Steve says "And I'm happy to report our man Bo is awake and wanting to go home already."

Cheers and toasts to Bo ensue.

"Okay now I have been trying to get this straight, and I think I have it down" John says "Roman, you are my cousin, and Kayla is my cousin. Steve would be my cousin-in-law, and Bo is sort of my cousin. And Phillip, you are Bo's brother but not related to me, unless you count the time Roman and your mom were married, which makes you my...what step-cousin??"

"Stop stop" Phillip says "You're killing my buzz!"

"You could drive yourself insane trying to figure out how everyone in this town is related" Steve says "Let's just say most of the family trees around here, don't branch out much."

"All I know is with all this Colleen - Santo stuff, we're more messed up than we ever were." Roman says

"You can say that again," Phillip agrees "It took me forever to convince Shawn that Belle wasn't his sister or cousin or aunt or whatever. And I'm still not sure he believes me. In a way it really was like talking to Forest Gump."

"Well, Belle would have to gain about 50 IQ points to be Jenny" Steve laughs

"Hey pal!" John does his best insulted voice "That's my daughter you're talking about! Or so Blondie says anyway. And I say she's need at least 60 IQ points!"

"Since you keep calling Marlena, Blondie, does that make you Dagwood?" Roman asks

"Well I DO have the hair for it!" John laughs

"And he has a thing for sandwiches" Steve agrees

Another round of laughter and male bonding.

"BAR WENCH!" Steve yells "Another round for me and my posse!"

The waitress nods and heads to the bar. As the bar tender pulls out another pitcher, Journey's Any Way You Want It comes on the juke box. This prompts the Hole-In-The-Head gang to launch into another sing-a-long, complete with air guitar solos all around.

"Do you think we should mention to them they're drinking non-alcoholic beer?" the waitress asks.

"Nah" the bartender smiles "It's more fun this way. Besides I promised their wives and girlfriends I wouldn't tell."