Marlena's TRUE Identity

With Stefano safely in a coma I decided to use my time in The Kate Zone to do some research.
What I have found will both shock and disturb you. But once you let your outrage cool, you will realize the truth was there all along. You just had to let yourself see it.

What truth am I talking about? Marlena's true identity. Yes friends, we have been lied to over the years. The woman we knew as Marlena Evans has led a secret double life, right under our noses, and none of us noticed.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have concrete proof that, Marlena, is in reality, Barbie.

Let's go straight to the facts shall we?

1. No one is sure of their true ages. Although Barbie claims to have been "born" in 1959, which would make her 49, she was actually 16 in 1959 which would make her 65. Marlena just showed up in Salem one day, in the 70's, already in her 20's.

2. Both are blondes with a pony tail fetish.

3. Both have been married many many times, but curiously seem to keep re-marrying the same guy over and over. Even wearing eerily similar wedding dresses!



4. I will let the next two pictures speak for themselves:

Ken-------------------John Black



5. Although Marlena claims to have a career as a psychiatrist, no one ever sees her actually do it. The same with Barbie. Who knows WHAT she really does.

6. Along those same lines, although neither one of them would recognize an honest day's work if it slapped her up side the head; both Marlena and Barbie, live in posh apartments and townhouses, wear the latest fashions, jet around the world in a moment's notice, own and wear enough diamonds to keep Harry Winston in business for the next 50 years.

7. Although neither will admit to have never had any surgeries, both still manage to look "plastic" most of the time.

8. It is widely rumored that Stefano cloned Marlena and there are no less than 5 duplicates running around out there somewhere. As far as Barbie goes, walk down the doll aisle in Toys R Us....yeah you get the idea.

9. Both seem to surround themselves with only other blondes. Most with somewhat questionable intelligence and all are some kind of blood relation, again with no discernible source of income.

10. Both have made some questionable choices in hair and fashion over the years:




And then there were the times when they just flat out dressed alike:


























So there you have it.
Evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the woman who claims to be Marlena Evans, is in reality, that ageless symbol of pop culture known as Barbie.