In The DOOL Writer's Room

The group of new writers sat nervously in the writer's room of DOOL.
The table they sat round was piled with DOOL scripts from the past several years. Some of the writers flipped through these scripts, some chatted, some just sat and looked around, still not quite believing where they were.

The door opens, Ken Corday and Diana Higley walk in.

"Good morning people, I hope all of you are here to work, because we have a long way to go today." Ken says in a loud voice

"We know many of you are new at this," Diana says "But this is a learn as you go process, so don't be afraid to speak up if you have questions."

"So, speaking of questions, let's just get right to that." Ken takes a seat at the head of the table. "Anyone have any questions about DOOL, and the current SL?"

After a few seconds of very loud silence, one of the writers raises her hand.

"Yes, you in the red" Diana says "And you don't have to be so formal, just speak up."

"Um okay, well I just want to know. . . well I guess . . . I sort of know . . . but I would like to hear the real reason from you guys....Why is Belle so stupid?"

An audible gasp came from the rest of the group and everyone waits to see how badly this would go.

"Well, we try not to think of Belle as stupid. That doesn't mean she's smart by any means, but we wouldn't say stupid. We'd say...naive" Ken answered "But just between us, it's because it's funnier that way."

"In case you hadn't noticed, DOOL is a parody of itself." Diana said "We know it's been a train wreck for several years now. But instead of trying to get it back on track, we've been selling tickets to see the wreck."

Every jaw in the room drops as Diana's words sink in .

"So you want us to write it. . .silly?"

"You bet!" Diana says "Get crazy. We want people watching not because they like the show, but to see what's going to happen next."

"You mean we can have even more people come back from the dead?"

"And change around who people's fathers are, even if they already did tests to prove who it was?"

"Wow! and we can make people hook up with people they don't even like and then fall in love with them?"

"And just toss new people in, and have them be related to people out of the blue?"

"OH oh oh! Like we could have Julie or Hope have another kid who just shows up all grown up and it's like, oops forgot to tell you all these years, I had a baby and just forgot I had it!"

"And kids can just grow up overnight, and no one ever has to work?"

"They already do that, stupid!"

"So? I was just making sure we could keep doing it. And I don't hear you coming up with anything new."

"I am, I just don't want YOU to know what it is."

"PEOPLE PEOPLE!" Ken stands up and waits until the room is quiet. "I am hearing some really great ideas being tossed out there, let's make sure we get them down on paper. Diana, may I talk to you before I leave?"

Ken and Diana exit the room and walk down the hall into another room. Ken goes to a switch on the wall and flips it. Immediately the wall turns into a one way mirror and the writer's room is revealed.

Everyone in the room is excitedly talking. Some are writing things down, while still others are actually up acting out scenes.

Ken turns the sound up for a moment and we hear:

"Mom! how could you just not tell me I had a sister!"
"I'm so so sorry Belle, I just completely forgot that I had a baby! And that I gave it away!"

"No no no, Stefano and John are brothers now, but we could make Julie be their long lost OTHER sister!"

"I just think if Shawn knew all along where Claire was why did he pretend to look for her? Oh well that's not a big deal."

Ken turns the sound down and smiles. "I think they will work out fine."

"And they're cheap, and hiring them doesn't break any of the agreements we have with the writer's union." Diana says smugly

"How could it? They couldn't join the union if they wanted to, so there's nothing the unions or their lawyers or anyone can do about it." Ken says.

"I have to hand it to you Ken" Diana says "It was a stroke of genius."

"Yes it was" Ken agrees, "Hiring FIFTH GRADERS to write DOOL is the best idea I have ever had!"