Dr. Rolf At Home

In a carefully decorated country kitchen, a woman bearing a haunting resemblance to June Cleaver stands stirring a large pot on the stove.

A door opens and we hear “Honey! I’m home”

“Rolf! Ah for once you are on time.” Mrs. Rolf greets her husband

“Yes, and I am so tired.” Rolf sighs “Every day: Rolf are you done yet? Rolf are you done yet? I tell you Stefano never lets up.”

“I don’t know why you are so loyal to that horrible man” Mrs. Rolf comes back into the room with a pair of slippers and a martini

“Neither do I” Rolf sighs “But it is a job.”

“A job you should just quit!” Mrs. Rolf fusses “Didn’t you say you had an interview at University Hospital last week?”

“Yes yes, but Dr. Evans blackballed me” Rolf says “Okay so I helped hold her and most of her family hostage from time to time, but does that mean I am to be persecuted my whole life for it?”

“Well, dinner won’t be ready for a little while,” Mrs. Rolf says “Are you going to do some work in your lab tonight?”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me,” Rolf answers, “I do have some matters that need attending to.”

Dr. Rolf presses a button on the fireplace mantle and a secret door slides open. He walks down a long set of stone stairs to a large room lined with tall glass cylinders filled with liquid.

A flip of a couple switches and the cylinders light up to reveal, the missing 5 Marlena clones!

Dr. Rolf goes to a large book and turns a few pages. He begins to make notes reading them aloud as he does so.

“Soon the clones will be ready for release. Stefano has no idea I have collected the clones from the four corners of the globe and stored them here for exactly the right moment. Soon my master plan will go in to effect and Stefano’s kingdom will come crashing down around him.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it Dr. Rolf!”

Rolf turns and is shocked to see Austin Reed, dressed like Austin Powers, standing at the foot of the stairs.

“So you thought you could get away with it didn’t you? But I’m on to you and your fiendish plan!” Austin says in a really bad British accent.

“What the Hell are you doing here? And why on Earth are you dressed like that?” Dr. Rolf asks

“You thought I was just some Brady husband, didn’t you?” Austin says “But little did you know I am a spy in Her Majesty’s Secret Service!”

“But you aren’t even British!” Rolf says “And you don’t have the slightest idea what my plan for these clones is. I am not trying to hurt anyone, I am trying to bring down Stefano!”

“So YOU say, Dr. Rolf” Austin is grinning like an idiot “But I am a master spy and I know all about your plan to take over the world.”

“Are you even listening to me? You look like a refugee from the Partridge Family in that outfit, and you sound like you just escaped from a bad dinner theater production of Oliver Twist” Rolf exclaims “Now get out of here and let me finish my work.”

“Not this time Dr. Rolf!” Austin pulls out a gun and waves it around

Suddenly Austin freezes mid wave and gets a strange look on his face. He drops to the floor.

“I thought he’d never shut up.” Claire says “Good thing Allie called me and told me him and my dad got smashed on tequila and watched all three Austin Powers movies today.”

Claire tosses the lead pipe she whacked Austin with to the side and walks over to the cylinders.

“Cool, Grandma-palooza!” She says checking out all the Marlena clones “I bet I could really cash in at Christmas time with all these!”

“Yes yes, lots of Grandmas,” Dr Rolf is fussing as he ties up Austin. “Did you bring the airline tickets for Ireland? Colleen will be waiting for my call to let her know when we will be arriving.”

“Got em right here.” Claire says, “Crystal and Rob have the van gassed up and ready to go.”

“Good!” Rolf says “Finally someone in the Brady family with brains.”

“Rolf! Dinner is ready!” Mrs. Rolf calls from upstairs “Will Miss Claire be staying? I made my strudel!”

“YUM” Claire says, “Always time for strudel, come on Dr. Rolf let’s go.”