Law & Order – SCS Stupid Criminals – Salem

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime. And the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

St. Luke’s Church
666 Damien St.
Salem, USA

A wedding is taking place. From three areas, three guns are pointed at the couple exchanging their vows. Three shots ring out. The groom falls.

Detective Lenny Briscoe and Detective Rey Curtis arrive on the scene.

“Lenny, we got one hell of a mess here.” Curtis says

“I see that.” Lenny replies “Who the hell is in charge here?”

"That would be me!" Bo Brady steps up " We secured the scene, and the only people we've allowed in here are my wife, my son, the victim's father, his brother, the bride's sister, her daughter, my daughter, my niece, her sorority sisters..."

“Whoa, maybe you better tell me who HASN’T wandered through here!” Lenny says

“Let’s see” Bo opens his note book “ummmm no one.”

“Okay,” Curtis says “I guess we can forget about ballistics, since your lab guy doesn’t believe in wearing gloves or tagging evidence”

“Hey!” Bo snaps “Our evidence lock up is secure. I know because we’ve only lost 2 maybe 3 pieces of evidence in the last year. This should be an easy case to solve, we don’t need evidence.”

“Yeah” Lenny smirks “it’s gonna be a walk in the park”

“Oh this shooting didn’t happen in the park, it happened right here.” Bo says.

Lenny and Rey exchange looks and eye rolls.

Dimera Mansion
430 Lakeview Dr.
Salem, USA 06649

“Mr. Dimera, can you think of anyone who would want your son dead?” Lenny asks

“I will tell you EXACTLY who shot my son” Stefano declares “The BRADYS”

“Can you be a little more specific? You can’t swing a dead cat in this town without hitting a Brady.” Lenny says

“What do I care?” Stefano says “As far as I am concerned they are all guilty”

“Yeah, well we kind of need to know some specific names. Anyone make a threat against your son lately” Lenny continues

“I am telling you, it was a Brady!” Stefano insists “Go ask them your impertinent questions. See if they admit their guilt. They won’t. There will be no justice for my son.”

“Well give us a name, someone to start with at least.” Lenny tries again

“Roman Brady!” Stefano says “Go talk to him. I am sure you will find it quite illuminating.”

Roman Brady’s house
334 Sycamore St.
Salem, USA

“Commander Brady” Rey begins “We have witnesses who say you were at the church the night EJ Wells was shot. Can you give us a reason to think you aren’t the shooter?”

“Well detective, if you ask my brother Bo, he’ll tell you he took my gun from me that night. So how do you figure I shot Elvis Dimera?” Pard drawls.

“Yeah, like a cop, or more to the point, the head of the Salem Police department only has ONE gun” Lenny says “Explain that to us”

“I can’t” Pard smirks “So I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.”

“Several people have told us you were very upset your daughter was marrying the victim.” Rey says

“Tell me YOU wouldn’t be upset if YOUR daughter was marrying the man who raped her detective.” Pard snarls

“Rape?” Lenny asks “No one told us anything about a rape.”

“Well then I guess you DON’T know everything do you?” Pard says “Anyway, there are plenty of people in this town who would love to take a shot at ol’ Elvis”

Brady Pub
48 Water St.
Salem, USA

“So you’re telling me your dad took your Uncle Roman’s gun from him and he was sure he didn’t have another one.” Lenny sits at the bar talking to Shawn

“Yep, I saw him with my own eyes. And I am going to the police academy pretty soon so I know my Uncle Roman only had the one gun.” Shawn boasts

“Lenny, check out what I found” Rey is behind the bar holding a gun

“Well, well, looks like the same caliber that shot EJ Wells” Lenny says

“Wow you can tell that just by looking at it?” Shawn gasps

“Uh yeah, we know what bullets go into what guns, and this one is a 38 the same as the casings we found.” Lenny answers

“Oh cool! So those case thingies they have something to do with the bullets?” Shawn’s mouth hangs open.

“Kid? Are you sure you’re ready to be a cop.” Rey asks

“Yeah! In fact in a few months I’ll be ready to make detective like you!” Shawn grins “And my fiancé is almost done with nursing school, she’s been going 2 whole months already.”

Lenny and Rey exchange looks again.

Kate Roberts’ Penthouse
1019 Salem Heights Towers
Salem, USA

“Are you sure you gentlemen won’t have a drink?” Kate floats around the room in a silk robe carrying a huge martini glass.

“No maam, not while we are on duty” Lenny says

“Hmm, never knew a cop to turn down a drink” Kate slurs “At least none here in Salem”

“That would explain a lot.” Rey mutters under his breath “Mrs. Roberts, we know you were EJ Wells’ former lover. We have the tape of the two of you that was shown at the Mythic board of directors meeting, and again at the shareholders meeting, and twice on pay per view, and is currently on You Tube…”

“Did you like it detective?” Kate purrs “I can assure you I am MUCH better in person”

“Yes, well I’ll just take your word for it maam” Rey looks a little green

“Admit it lady” Lenny gets in Kate’s face “You shot EJ Wells because you were jealous that he was marrying someone else. Someone you hated. They woman who already took away your son.”

“Whoa there big fella” Kate says “I may have hated Sami but I didn’t not want her dead. I mean if I shot at her I wouldn’t have missed, ummm no that’s not what I mean. Why would I want to shoot EJ? It’s Sami I wanted dead, I mean not dead but out of the way. Oh dear this isn’t coming out right is it?”

Rey’s cell phone rings, he answers it and talks for a minute.

“Lenny, I need to talk to you in the other room for a minute.” Rey says as he hangs up the phone.

“I just got a call. They found a gun with Mrs. Robert’s fingerprints on it.” Rey says

“Great lets get her downtown.” Lenny says

“There’s another problem. The gun belongs to Roman Brady.” Ray looks in at Kate swilling down another martini “And both of them are the same caliber as the gun that shot Wells.”

“That’s all we need, more confusion.” Lenny sighs and goes back in to Kate “Mrs. Roberts you are under arrest for the attempted murder of EJ Wells”

“Oh! Handcuffs! I looooooove hand cuffs” Kate’s eyes glass over “Wait, I need my leather boots and my whip.”

Lenny and Rey exchange eye rolls and proceed to cuff Kate who seems to be enjoying it a little too much.

Salem Police Headquarters
101 Front St.
Salem USA

Lenny and Rey take turns trying to get a confession out of Kate. Unfortunately she is getting overly excited by all the manly attention. She flirts, coos, and makes obscene suggestions to both cops.

Outside the room Lt. Anita Van Buren watches. Finally she can take no more and raps on the glass for the detectives to come out.

“Quite a handful isn’t she?” Lt. Van Buren asks the two red faced detectives

“Yeah, I think she’d confess to the OJ murders if Rey smiled at her the right way.” Lenny smirks.

Suddenly the door bursts open and Lucas storms in.

“Let my mother go! She didn’t do it!” He yells

“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you enlighten us as to who DID do it?” Rey says

Lucas pauses and does his “what smells bad in here?” look.

“Well?” Lenny says “We’re waiting”

“Huh?” Lucas looks even more constipated “I can’t answer yet, I’m not done yelling a bunch of incoherent things and frowning a lot.” He proceeds to do so.

“Hey you!” Lenny pokes Lucas “You came here to say something, say it.”

Lucas pulls out his day planner “Hang on, I have to check to see if this is a disown my mom or defend my mom day. Okay it’s a defend day. I confess, I shot EJ!”

Lt. Van Buren looks at Lucas. “Little man, are you sure you know what you are saying? We don’t have any evidence that points to you.”

Kate bursts out of the interrogation room, “Lucas STOP! You don’t know what you’re saying!”

Bo walks in with Steve Johnson in hand cuffs. “I got your shooter right here!” he says to the group.

“Now who is THIS?” Lt Van Buren asks

“It’s the guy who shot EJ.” Bo says “I know because we always arrest Steve for everything that happens here in Salem, and we figure eventually we’ll get it right.”

Pard strolls in and stands against the wall looking amused.

“Whenever everyone is done” he yells over the din “I got your shooter right here.”

Everyone looks up surprised. Pard does his patented we’s-just-folks grin.

“Well everyone, all of you may have fired at Elvis, but none of you were good enough shots to hit him. Your shooter, is right here.”

Pard opens the door and out walks, The Woman In Black! Pard reaches over and pulls the veil off.

Andre Demera!!!!!!!!!!

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion to this story!