I'm BAAAAAACK!!!!!

Late last summer we took a little trip.
Went along with Lumi down the mighty Mississip.
They went to rebuild houses, cuz they wanted to be “green”.
And help Katrina victims who were down New Orleans.

[Chorus:]
They finally got married but the troubles kept a'comin.
EJ, Kate, and Andre, Colleen, Santo, Stefano.
Babies, letters, bombings, and a moldy old vendetta.
All these things all tied up an leather folio.

We suffered while the Santeen letters made our brains go numb.
Acted out with phony accents so we’d know where they were from.
Sami threw conniption fits, and bawled and cried and whined.
Lucas just looked constipated yelling “Sami’s MINE!”

[Chorus]
Old Stefano was almost dead but had a big surprise
Ending the vendetta in the twinkling of an eye
Instead of Sami Roberts we’d have Mrs EJ Wells.
And anyone who didn’t like it could go straight to HELL!

[Chorus]
Yeah, the Bradys pitched a fit about the terms to end the feud
They all ganged up on Sami screaming you can’t do this NO!
Forget about the letters and all this vendetta business.
We’ll keep you protected like we always have you know.

The Salem cops decided that they’d fake kill Stefano.
But it fell apart when Andre kidnapped Roman, fooling Bo.
John got turned to roadkill and poor Benji lost his life
Sami bawled “I can end it all, by being EJ’s wife!”

[Chorus]
Yeah, the dumb plotlines keep coming, and they don’t look like they’re stopping.
We never know from day to day which way they’re gonna go.
We’d give up if we could but we still just keep on hoping.
That someday things will make sense on our favorite TV show.