Austin Powers 2 - This Guy Who Nagged Me

“The ISA wants us to find out how everyone in Salem can all be independently wealthy and unemployed at the same time” explained Claire.

“What do I know about that?” asked Nick

Claire rolls her eyes and walks over to a computer terminal. She logs on to the IRS computer database.

“Now look” she begins “In the past 40 years no one in the town of Salem has filed an income tax return”

“Well, yeah that’s a little weird” Nick says

“At the same time, there have been NO applications for loans, no welfare payments, no sales taxes collected, nothing!” Claire continues “And yet. . .” She switches to another screen “There are businesses, service industries, schools, hospitals, a police force, ambulances, an airport, a newspaper, TV and radio stations. People have electricity, water, phone service. Who pays for all this?”

“Well maybe they all had a good year playing the stock market.” Nick laughs

Claire continues like she didn’t hear him “People take trips all over the world, drive brand new expensive cars, dress in designer fashion, have extravagant weddings…”

“Well Sami Brady could support the entire Salem wedding industry” Nick says

“Okay fine if this is a joke to you.” Claire shuts down the computer and gets up to walk away.

“Hey, I am just kidding,” says Nick “What does the ISA think is going on?”

“That’s just it!” Claire snaps, “Where is all the money coming from? Someone somewhere has to be funding all these things, and we need to find out who”

“Don’t you think it might be a better idea to find out why the people in this place age so weird?” Nick mumbles under his breath “I mean what are you 1? EJ is like 13. Your great grand father has kids who are in their 50’s, yet 50 years ago he was only like 8 or 9…”

“What?” says Claire “ are you babbling about?”

“Oh nothing nothing.” Nick answers, then does his patented turn around and talk to no one move “I mean come on, I’m just saying….”

“Claire, Nick!” Shane walks over with a piece of paper in his hand “We just got word from ISA head quarters, the mission is on”

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