Meanwhile in Hell
Satan is polishing his horns, humming a little tune. He was in a good mood until the 3 demons knocked on his door.
"Come in!" he called
After a long pause the door opened slowly. There was the sound of scuffling and whispered arguing. Finally one small demon was pushed through the door.
The others followed slowly at a distance.
"What is it?" asked Satan "Hurry up I have a hot date with Anna Nicole, you know I waited forever for her to get down here."
The small demon visibly shaking turned to his companions. They waved him on and he began to speak.
"Dark Lord" he stammered "We.. um have some bad news"
Satan turned away from his mirror and looked hard at the demon "Spill it"
"Well sir, you know your favorite little town? Salem? Yeah well it seems that, umm ...well it's like this.....you know how things were so evil there? Well...."
"SPIT IT OUT!" boomed Satan "I DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT!"
The small demon dropped to the floor and covered his head, he took a deep breath and said "God turned Salem back into what it was in 1965! Everyone is good and honest and kind!" The demon braced himself for the wrath of Satan.
"Gone?" said Satan "The town I created for my amusement? All the evil doings gone? The place I planned to retire......good????"
"Y-y-y-y-yes Dark Lord" stuttered the demon
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" the walls of Hell shook with Satan's wrath. Fires shot up from the floor, rocks fell from the ceiling
The three demons screamed and ran for the door. They didn't make it.
The door slammed shut before they could make it out, and now they turned to face an enraged King of the Underworld who was having a classic Sami Brady conniption fit.
Fireballs flew across the room, lightening shot down from the ceiling, furniture smashed into the walls.
"Bring me the most evil demon I have" panted Satan "the only one who can un-do all that has been done..."
The three demons gasped and stared at Satan...."no Dark Lord, you can't mean you want us to release...."
"YES" hissed Satan "bring me......
posted by Deb at
5:22 AM
4 Comments:
James E. Reilly
OMG! Yesterday, after reading Deb's excellent continuation of the heaven/hell story, I was trying to come up with the ultimate evil. I swear, I was going to put Reilly!
I dithered around trying to come up with some cutesy way of putting it, like, "J'Reiollus, Dark Master of the Incompetent" and thus lost out to brendamouse.
Great minds, eh?! LOLOL
"Yes, dark Lord?" asks Reilly.
"I want you to destroy Salem the way you did before. Our plan was proceeding just as we'd planned until those do-gooders got involved. Do it NOW!"
"Yes, my Lord" said Reilly as he hurried out.
Trying to think of the best way to destroy Salem, Reilly had a thought.
He knew just what Salem needed. Something new they hadn't had yet but was simply ripe for. A witch. Why not? It worked for Passions. That had pretty much destroyed that. Now who would the witch be?
Kate? No, she'd be too obvious.
Marlena, who'd already been possessed and brainwashed into a serial killer? The saintly Hope?....
Reilly shook his massive, horned head, temporarily setting aside all the tired, convoluted plots he had inflicted on Salem before. He had a whole new slate to start with.
The Lord had actually done Reilly a favor. He had turned Salem back to the halcyon days of Tom & Alice, Marie & Tommy, Mickey & Laura.
"Not just ONE witch," Reilly slathered. "A coven! Alice will be the senior witch and bring all of her kin into the evil circle. She will work her spells to bring all of the tortured SL's she dreamed about BACK to Salem. Everyone [including the audience] will have to endure them again."
"EXccccelent, your Evilnessssss," a minion groveled. "But if the Horton coven are the basis of all evil, how will the Dimerassssss eventually fit in?"
"Insolent imp!" his Evilness bellowed. "Do you doubt I have that covered!? I'm going to......."
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