Death Takes A Long Weekend
The Angel of Death glances at the sign alongside the road.
Salem 1 mile ahead
He sighs and shifts his Porsche into 5th gear. Salem again. When will the boss just give up on this place and just burn it down, or flood it, whatever, just get rid of the place altogether.
But that won't happen. Death knows it, he doesn't like it, but he knows it.
The sign indicating the Salem city limits comes into view. Death reaches over and grabs his list.
John Black.
"THAT GUY? AGAIN?" Death slams on his brakes and pulls over.
He pulls out his laptop and cross references his past lists.
Sure enough, John Black, one, two, three.... "JESUS, how man times do I have to collect this dude?"
"As many times as I tell you to"
Death jumps out of his skin as he looks up and sees Jesus has appeared in the passenger seat.
"Don't DO that!" Death gasps "I may be immortal but I can still have the crap scared out of me!"
Jesus chuckles to himself and peers over at the laptop.
"Look, I don't make these decisions. Dad just likes to mess with these Salem people for some odd reason." Jesus explains
"Well it's getting really old." Death snaps back "It's bad enough he keeps sending people back, but then he makes me go collect them again and again. It's not like I don't have other things I could be doing."
"I know, but look at it this way," Jesus sighed "at least you don't have to put up with them very long. You get to collect them, drop them off and go about your business. I have to welcome them, show them around, judge their immortal soul...listen to them whine about how hard their life was, blah blah blah. Try doing that more than once with the same person."
"Could be worse, I could be collecting Chloe" Death snickered
"OH SHUT UP! I already told Dad, he brings her up and I am out of there. Willow was bad enough!"
Death stifles a laugh "Willow! Yeah she was a piece of work. You should have seen her face when I told her Hell didn't want her"
"Don't remind me," Jesus sighed "I had to let her in upstairs, and now she's causing all kinds of trouble."
"Yeah, I can imagine." Death said, closing his laptop. "Okay let's do this, John Black it is."
"OH before we go I almost forgot, Dad sent this down." Jesus hands Death a fo-lded leather pouch "its another soul you have to collect while you are here"
"Another one?" Death says. He opens the fo-lded leather pouch and pulls out a piece of paper. He reads the name and looks up at Jesus.
"Have you seen this?" asks Death "Do you know who I am collecting?"
Jesus takes the paper from Death and sees the name.
"NO WAY!! This CAN'T be right! You have to collect. . .
posted by Deb at
10:10 AM
2 Comments:
"it's kate" said death
Death collects Kate by making her choke on her own lips as she is sipping on a martini.
As she falls off her barstool at the Cheating Heart-she was slumming and trolling for a swwet young thing- her life passes before her eyes. Most of what she sees is too x-rated to be shown on national tv.
The erotic adventures of Kate dim from view as we see a light shining in the distance. We hear Zelda Rubenstein intone, "Kate, go into the light"
Kate asks," Are there martinis and young men for me to seduce in the light?"
Zelda remains silent on that point.
Kate struts her way toward the light. It gets brighter and brighter. She shades her eyes with her hands and sees indistinct figures in the distance.
Kate warily approaches the people near the light. They seem to be in a circle. She moves closer. She now sees the figures are sitting at a table.
Jeremy says, "Deal me in." He glances over his shoulder and spies Kate.
" Are you going to join us or what?"
Kate greedily grabs one of Alice's donuts and lifts the martini glass that was waiting for her. It's damn near a family reunion as she sees Carrie, Austin, Rex, Billie and Cassie.
Kate asks, " What have you been up to?'
Rex says----------
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