Bo and Hope's Excellent Adventure

Bo and Hope Brady drive aimlessly around the Irish countryside. Hope stares at the road signs, then looks over at Bo. He is intently staring at his notebook, pen in hand. He writes something down, then says "Damn, did it again!"

"What's wrong Brady," Hope asks "Trying to figure out who we're up against?"

"Huh?" Bo says "Uh no, just. . . well making notes I guess." He tries to put the notebook into his pocket but Hope reaches over and takes it from him.

"TIC TAC TOE?" Hope flips through page after page of games "YOU were playing Tic Tac Toe, BY YOURSELF? AND LOSING??????"

"Hey it's a hard game!" Bo says defensively "I am a hard guy to beat you know!"

Hope opens her mouth to say something and stops herself. He is so lucky he's good looking, she thinks to herself. Because if I'd married him for his brains. . we wouldn't be married.

"I thought you were going to do the navigation for us." Hope says

"I am, Fancy Face" Bo proudly reaches in to the glove box and pulls out a Garmin
"When we picked up the rental car I grabbed one of these babies. This will tell us turn by turn where we need to go!"

"Good work Brady!" Hope says "Turn that sucker on."

"Okay okay, give me a minute here." Bo fiddles with the buttons "What road are we on right now?"

"Well let's see," Hope pulls up to an intersection and looks at the signs "We are at the corner of Shite and Nadaplace" Hope looks at the signs again to make sure she read that right. "Brady I don't like the looks of this, we really need to get to New Ross"

"Hang on, I'm programming it now" Bo says as he punches buttons "Okay putting in where we are now, and where we need to go, and the time of day, and the average speed, and the road conditions...would you say it's dry and clear or dry and hazy? I think clear but those clouds over there look kind of hazy to me.."

"JUST PROGRAM THE DAMN THING!" Hope snaps impatiently

"Okay okay," Bo says "There I got it."

Bo puts the Garmin into it's little holder on the dashboard and pushes the START button.

"Weelcum ta Ireland" The box chirps "Yeer gunna wanna go farwerd froom hare"

"What did it say?" Hope asks

"I think it said to go far from here." Bo pushes the repeat button and they both listen.

"I think it wants us to go straight" Hope says "Didn't it have an English setting?"

"Hang on, let me see" Bo pushes a few more buttons

" 'ello guvna! 'have yerself a gander round, and if it's Nada Road yer on then yer doin' grand. Just head on down for 20 kilometers, hang a left and Bob's Yer Uncle."

"Bob's my uncle? Who's Bob? Hope I think this thing is trying to tell us some secret information." Bo says excitedly

"I think that thing needs to take a flying leap off of the Tower of London." Hope says "Put it back on Irish, at least we sort of understand that."

"But what about Bob?" Bo asks

"There is no Bob" Hope says "Forget about Bob."

"Easy for you to say, he's not YOUR Uncle." Bo mutters as he pushes buttons on the Garmin again "I bet Stefano kidnapped him too..."

"BO!" Hope snaps her fingers "Concentrate. Just fix the thing"

"Okay, I got it" Bo says

"Yeell be wantin ta tarn leeft at the Chorch, just ahead"

"There, now we're getting somewhere" Hope says

After a few minutes they spot the church and turn left. Hope looks over at the Garmin as it gives the next direction.

"The Lard be smilin on ye taday, as ye've reached yer destination."

"We're here?" Hope says "This doesn't look right."

They approach a small town and stop at a large sign on the side of the road.

"Welcome to Chandler? CHANDLER? Bo, we were supposed to be going to New Ross!" Hope says shocked

"Ross, Chandler, whatever, I knew it was one of those Friends guys. What difference does it make?" Bo says

"It makes a BIG difference! We're supposed to be going to rescue Claire, remember? How are we supposed to do that if you keep getting us lost?" Hope says, trying not to lose it.

"Claire, Claire, Claire." Bo says "That kid is always getting into trouble. Why do we keep having to go rescue her anyway? Can't your son keep track of his kid once in his life?"

"MY Son??" Hope says "Hello? Brady! He's your son too you know."

"So you say." Bo mutters

"WHAT?" Hope yells

"Nothing, nothing. It's just really frustrating how Belle and Shawn keep letting Claire get away. We don't have that problem with.....with.....what was her name again? The little one?"

"Ciera!" Hope says through her teeth

"Yeah, her. What's with that name anyway? I never liked that name. We should have named her Barbara. Oh better yet, Barbara Ann! Then we could sing that song for her, you know Ba-ba-ba, Ba-barb-ra Ann.." Bo launches into the old Beach Boys hit

"BO!" Hope slaps Bo across the face "Are you on drugs? Snap out of it!"

Bo blinks a few times and stares at Hope, who is at the end of her rope. She takes a deep breath and tries to collect herself.

"Okay, I'm sorry I did that, but we need to get going." She says "Obviously this thing is no help" Hope turns the Garmin off

"It's okay Fancy Face" Bo says "I brought a map, we can use it to find this New Rachel, "

"New ROSS" Hope says

"Yeah, sorry, New Ross." Bo smiles his best Crest White Strips grin and pulls out the map.

"Okay, we just have to go back to that church and keep going the other way." Hope says as she turns the car around and heads back in the direction they just came.

They make it back to the church and turn out onto the road they were on before and keep driving.

"Now we should see a sign pretty soon." Hope says "We passed one about 1/2 an hour ago that said New Ross was in 30 Kilometers"

"We should be there in no time." Bo says, As he looks over the map "Oh cool! It looks like we're going to go right through Kenosha! Can we stop for some cheese?"

A feeling of horror comes over Hope as she looks over to see Bo marking their route on a map of Wisconsin.