Max and Nick's Heinous Escapade Part II

"If you guys are ready, I'd like to ask one favor before I send you off." Carlin says

"Okay what?" Max asks

Carlin thinks for a minute, whispers something in each of their ears, then stands back.

The guys look at each other, shrug their shoulder and Max steps forward.

"Excellent!" Max says with a big grin

"Bogus" Nick follows slightly scowling

"Yeah, it's not the same. Okay, outside you will find a car, get in and drive out of town just until you can't see it in the rear view. Then program this code into the GPS and drive back into town."

"Do we have to hit 88 miles per hour?" Nick asks

"Huh? No, wrong movie.." Carlin says "When you've set things right, the car will re-appear and you do the same thing to get back home."

"So the car will know when we've done everything we are supposed to do? Kind of like Quantum Leap?" Max asks

"Yeah sort of. What is it with you two and all these TV and Movie references?" Carlin asks

"I don't know, it kind of feels like a movie, but I can't remember which one." Max answers.

"Yeah, whatever. Here are the keys now get going." Carlin hands them car keys and a piece of paper.

The guys turn around and suddenly they are standing in the Java Cafe mens room again.

"But what if..." Max starts to ask Carlin a question but he's gone. The guys walk out of the cafe and there outside is a mint 1977 Trans-Am. Black with the gold firebird painted on the hood.





"SWEET! The Bandit car!" Max exclaims. Runs over and jumps in.

"This is SO COOL! I wonder if we get to keep it when this is all over."

"Max, hold on a minute, are you sure we should be doing this?" Nick asks "After all we are going to be making someone disappear. Changing so many lives."

"Yeah but for the better!" Max says "Come on, it's Hope. Think about it, no great loss dude." Max says

"I guess you're right." Nick sighs "But we need to make sure we are very careful not to change anyone else's lives."

"Yeah, yeah, careful, I got it. Come on, I can't wait to drive this thing." Max says

Nick gets in the car, and the guys take off down the road. They drive a few miles outside of town until Salem completely disappears over the horizon. Max turns the car around and Nick pulls out the paper. He turns on the GPS and is greeted with a cheery computer voice, asking for "the code". Nick enter it and pauses a moment before pushing enter.

"Ready?" Nick turns to see that Max has put on a cowboy hat and is chewing on a toothpick.

"10-4 good buddy! The Bandit is East bound and down." Max grins

"Okay now cut that out!" Nick scolds "We have to be serious here."

Max takes off the hat and grumbles a bit "Yeah I'm ready"

Nick pushes enter on the GPS and Max starts to drive. The sky seems to turn a peculiar shade of green right after they take off, then back to normal. Salem appears on the horizon and it doesn't take long before the guys notice it has changed. Many of the houses are gone and the road has narrowed. As they pass a totally different "Welcome To Salem" sign a loud POP sounds and the guys find themselves now sitting in a mint 1964 1/2 Mustang convertible.




"Man I am LOVING this job!" Max practically squeals with delight.

"Check it out! Our clothes have changed." Nick says

The guys are dressed in typical 1965 guy fashions. Nick is even wearing Buddy Holly glasses.

"Oh come on! They had contacts in 1965, this sucks." Nick says

"Hey it's not forever, now what was the name of that store we were supposed to find Julie in?" Max says looking around.

"Bartlett's," Nick answers "There it is, pull over."

Max and Nick park in front of the store and go in. At first they can't take their eyes off all the things they've only seen in old pictures until now. The clothes, the gadgets, the people. Each new discovery send them into states of wide eyed wonder. Suddenly Nick stops and looks at Max with a shocked expression.

"Holy American Graffiti, Max I just realized, we have no idea what Julie looks like at this age. How are we doing to figure out who she is?" Nick says

"Oh," Max says "Damn I didn't think of that. Well we know she gets arrested for stealing ....what was it again?"

"A fur?" Nick says "I guess they wear them in 1965. So where would we find furs?"

"Fourth floor, right next to Women's better shoes." A stuffy sales woman says to them.

"Better shoes?" Max asks "Better than what?"

"Thank you!" Nick says and grabs Max by the arm dragging him towards the elevator.

"Stop clowning, we're supposed to fit in, in this time." Nick hisses under his breath

"Yeah but what the hell are 'better' shoes?" Max asks again

"I look like I should know? Just keep walking." Nick answers

The elevator ride complete with an elevator operator calling out what is on each floor brings a new string of giggled jokes from Max. Each one brings stern looks from Nick and admonishments to quit.

They reach the 4th floor and walk out into a sea of racks filled with 60's fashions.
After a few confusing moments the guys locate the fur department. It doesn't take long before a group of teen age girls arrive and start browsing.
Nick and Max follow them, just close enough to hear their conversation.

"I am going to show you how easy it is, then after that you'll see, we can have whatever we want and not pay for it." One girl says

"Wow Julie, you are so brave." raves another

"It's not about being brave Carol," Julie says "It's about being cool. And if you want to be cool you have to have the latest. You now the absolute newest coolest stuff."

"I don't know Julie. Aren't you afraid of getting caught?" asks the third girl

"Diane, if you think you're going to get caught, you will. You just have to think positive." Julie answer.

Max whispers to Nick "That's Julie, that's Carol, and that's Diane."

"DUH!" Nick gives Max a look.

"Well come on, we have to stop her, she's getting ready to do it." Max says

"What do we do?" Nick asks

"Let me think," Max says "Okay I got it, follow my lead."

"Max wait! What are you going to do?" Nick tries to stop him, but he's too late.

Max puts on his best lady killer smile and walks up to the girls.

"Hey, groovy chicks. You're all hep in far out ways." Max leers

"Ummm, sure, okay" The girls look at him like he's an alien and slowly back away.

Nick comes up and drags him back by the arm. "That's the BEST you could come up with?"

"It was the only 60's thing I could think of to say." Max explains

"A line from the Brady Bunch movie? And that was the 70's" Nick says

"Oh like you were coming up with a better plan." Max replies

"Well it didn't work for Greg Brady and it's not working for you." Nick says "Besides I don't see you trying at all."

"Okay okay, give me a minute." Nick says "I have something, now just don't SAY anything this time. Just wait until I ask you a question."

Nick straightens his glasses and casually wanders over to where the girls are standing looking at fur pieces in a display case.

"Hey, I think I know you guys." Nick begins "Didn't our team play yours in the big game last year? And aren't you three cheerleaders?"

"What big game would that have been?" Diane asks

Nick, gets a deer in the headlight look and takes a shot "Uhhh football?"

Diane rolls her eyes and turns her back to Nick and goes back to looking in the display case.

"That was it?" Max says "THAT was your big opening line? Tell me Nick have you EVER asked a girl out? A REAL girl?"

"Well YOU didn't do any better. Mr. 'hey there groovy chicks' who says that? Who EVER said that?"

The guys are arguing so much they don't even notice Diane had walked up to them.

"Um, hi there." Diane looks at Max "My friend says to tell you she thinks you're kind of cute and you look like Paul and you," Diane turns to Nick "look kind of like Ringo but with glasses." Behind her Julie and Carol are giggling

"Well, I don't know who Paul is, but hi, I'm Ma..." Nick kicks him before he can finish his name "Matthew. Matthew Perry. And this is my friend Chandler Bing."

Nick scowls at Max "Uh hi"

Diane frowns "You don't know who Paul is? Paul, you know, Paul McCartney."

"OH the Beatles guy! Yeah, okay, he's okay I guess." Max says

Diane gets the "what planet are you from" look on her face again and walks back to Carol and Julie.

"Thanks dude, Chandler Bing? What were you thinking?" Nick says

"Well you kicked me for trying to tell her my real name, and it was the only thing I could come up with." Max says

"And what was with the 'he's okay' thing about Paul McCartney, don't you know anything about pop culture history? The Beatles were HUGE in 1965!" Nick says

"What do I know about the Beatles? John Lennon died before I was born, before either of us was born. George Harrison died a few years back, and Paul McCartney married some gold digger with one leg." Max says "It's not like you're some kind of expert."

"Okay I admit it. Other than hearing their songs on the oldies station, I don't know much about them." Nick says "She said I look like Ringo? All I know about him is he was Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station. You remember Thomas The Tank engine? I used to watch it when I was a kid."

"I LOVED that show!" Max says "My favorite was Diesel, oh and the helicopter, what was his name?"

"Harold!" Nick grins "I liked him too. And the mayor guy Sir Topemhat? I laughed every time they said his name."

"Me too!" Max agrees

"Damn! Look, Julie's moving in on that fur piece on the display! Quick go stop her." Nick exclaims

Max darts over to Julie and says the first thing he can think of to say "Paul McCartney huh? So do you have many of his....I mean their.....uhh many Beatles CDs... uhh records?"

Julie hesitates then says "Yeah, I have all of them, why? You don't even know who Paul is."

"Oh I was just kidding!" Max says "I love the Beatles."

"You do?" Julie is still a little suspicious "Well we're going to go over to Carols and listen to records. I guess you two can come if you want."

"Great! Let's go now." Max grabs Julie's arm and steers her away from the stole.

"Umm okay" Julie allows Max to pull her from the display case "I'll go tell Carol and Diane and we'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes. We have something to do first."

"Hey whatever it is, can't it wait? I'd love to hear some Beatles right now." Max insists

"Uhh okay, I guess it can wait till tomorrow." Julie says

"Groovy! Hey Chandler come on we're going to go with these guys and listen to some records." Max calls Nick over.

As the five head for the elevator Nick pulls Max to the side. "I don't know how you did it but I'm glad you did. Now hopefully the car will be sitting outside when we get downstairs and we can go home." Nick says

"Me too." Max agrees "I'll be glad to get back home."

"I still can't believe you made me be Chandler dude. Why not Joey?" Nick asks

"Hey, even I'M not that cool." Max grins


*And before you start begging, yes there will be a part III tomorrow.*