Skool Is Good

The Board of Regents of Salem University holds it's quarterly meeting to discuss the usual progress and issues.

This time however, an air of uncertainty is evident in the room.

University President Kelly calls the meeting to order. Before he can get started Crawford Decker bursts into the room.

"I demand to be heard!" He shouts "You people have ignored my requests for meetings with all of you and now I will have my chance to speak."

All in attendance are shocked, and look to President Kelly to see what his reaction will be.

President Kelly sighs "Come in Crawford, I've been expecting this. Ladies and gentlemen Mr. Decker makes a valid point. We have avoided this issue for far too long and now it seems we have no choice but to address it."

Whispers and murmurs fill the room as Decker strides to the front of the table and takes a seat.

"Mr. Crawford is here to discuss the ongoing problem we have with the girls of Alpha Chi Theta." President Kelly begins

"He means I-Fleta-Thigh" someone in the crowd whispers. Giggles and snickers ensue.

"Yes, I am aware of the less than stellar reputation this organization has managed to acquire " Kelly continues, shooting a stern look at several members, with grins on their faces "But making jokes and giggling like kindergarteners is not helping the situation."

"Mr. President, I have tried for months to make you take notice of the fact that NONE of these girls have attended a single one of my lectures," the head of the math department interjects

"Nor any of mine!" says the head of English

"Mine either"
"I've only seen one or two of them"
"Same here!"

President Kelly has to bang his gavel to get everyone to quiet down. "Yes, as I said, I am well aware the girls don't seem to put much importance in actually attending classes. Our problem is, what we are going to do about it."

"I think this sorority should be disbanded and all in attendance tossed out of the University." Crawford Decker speaks up. "Those girls are dangerous. The murdered my son!"

"Yes Crawford" President Kelly sighs "We have all heard about your son." Most at the table roll their eyes and nod in agreement.

"Well if you all know what's going on and about these girls, why is that sorority still open? Why are these girls still in school?" Decker asks

A few board members look away, some pretend to take notes. There are a few coughs and throat clearings.

"No one here will stand with me and put and end to this travesty?" Decker tries again to get someone to listen, but to no avail.

"Crawford, there are things . . . forces at work here that . . . well sometimes you just have to make concessions . . . after all we are an institution that relies on donations from . . ."

"ARE YOU TELLING ME SOMEONE IS PAYING YOU OFF?" Decker explodes

"Now Crawford, please, calm down. Pay off is such a tacky word don't you think?" Kelly says

"Well what would YOU call it?" Decker will not be calmed "You're letting students stay here and get degrees when they don't deserve them? They can just buy a diploma?"

"You're misunderstanding the situation Crawford." Kelly tries again "We know it looks bad, but these girls aren't exactly going to end up being brain surgeons or rocket scientists."

"That's for sure" someone says. Giggles ensue again.

"This is unbelievable!" Crawford continues to freak "How much are these girls' families paying you, to make it worth your abandoning all your principles."

"Pardon my saying this" the math dept head speaks up "But to be frank, our department can't afford to have principles"

"Neither can the English department" Another board member speaks up

Decker looks around the room in disbelief as members from all the University's departments, one by one, agree.

"All of you?" He says "My GOD, doesn't anyone believe in justice?"

"Yes, we do" Kelly says "But we also know that sometimes you have to consider the needs of the many, over the desires of the few."

The door opens and two security guards enter.

"Mr. Crawford is leaving, please see that he gets to his car safely" Kelly instructs the guards.

"You haven't heard the end of this!" Crawford threatens as he's escorted out of the board room.

Once he's gone the mood in the room lightens.

"Okay, our quarterly checks are here." Kelly announces to the group. "Oh looks like Morgan Hollingsworth will be making the Dean's list again . . "

Each department head nods as the checks are handed out.

"Oh and look, Chelsea Brady is getting that A in Physics. Looks like her grandfather cares about her education. . ." Kelly opens another envelope "And the Marketing department head will be glad to know Miss Brady's grandfather is VERY interested in her getting a degree in business."

The dept head takes the check "YESSSS, now we can afford to send my son to Harvard."

A few board members look at him "What? I should send him here?"

The meeting officially ends on that note as everyone laughs heartily.